Thank You for Flushing My Head in the Toilet and other rarely used expressions

Synopsis: Achilles and Helen get picked on at school--a lot. Achilles has a regular date with a bully who flushes his head in the toilet, and Helen has become so afraid of the girls who ridicule her that she invents reasons to be late. So when cool girl Glinda, their "bully buddy," appears and offers them a way out, they jump at the chance. But when they realize Glinda's solution is to turn them into bullies, they both resist--and she sends them back to a school that is even worse than the one they left. Their only means of escape is to try it Glinda's way. But does saving themselves mean becoming the very people who have tormented them?

Notes: Written specifically for teen performers, using a minimum ensemble cast of 10-12, with an almost unlimited maximum. Premiered at the Springfield Academy of Arts and Academics (Springfield, OR).